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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is cultural assimilation necessary social cohesion?

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IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic:"Is cultural assimilation necessary for social cohesion?"

Model Answer:

In today's diverse and globalized world, the importance of social cohesion cannot be understated. Social cohesion refers to the degree of interconnectedness among members of a community or society, which can significantly impact its stability, prosperity, and overall well-being. One key aspect that may influence this interconnectedness is cultural assimilation – the process by which individuals from different cultures adopt customs, beliefs, and practices of the dominant culture in a given society. This essay will discuss whether cultural assimilation is necessary for social cohesion and examine both its potential benefits and drawbacks.

On one hand, proponents of cultural assimilation argue that it fosters social cohesion by promoting common values, norms, and practices among diverse groups. By adopting the customs and traditions of a dominant culture, immigrants and other culturally diverse individuals can more easily integrate into society. This process may help reduce misunderstandings, prejudices, and discrimination, which can ultimately create a more harmonious and cohesive community. For example, in Canada, the policy of multiculturalism emphasizes the importance of cultural diversity while encouraging immigrants to learn and adopt Canadian values, customs, and traditions, thereby promoting social cohesion.

On the other hand, critics of cultural assimilation argue that it may lead to the loss of cultural identity and heritage, which is essential for maintaining a diverse and vibrant society. By forcing individuals to adopt the dominant culture's norms and values, assimilation may inadvertently suppress minority cultures, resulting in social fragmentation rather than cohesion. This can be seen in the United States, where Native American communities have experienced significant cultural erosion due to forced assimilation policies in the past.

In conclusion, whether or not cultural assimilation is necessary for social cohesion depends on how it is implemented and its potential consequences. While cultural assimilation may promote a sense of belonging and shared values among diverse groups, it can also lead to the loss of cultural identity and heritage. Therefore, a balanced approach that respects and celebrates cultural diversity while promoting mutual understanding and respect among different cultures is essential for fostering social cohesion in a multicultural society.

Score:

- Task Response: 9 (The candidate has provided a detailed response to the question, addressing all aspects of the topic.)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5 (The response is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. There are some minor issues with coherence and cohesion, but they do not significantly impact understanding.)
- Lexical Resource: 9 (The candidate demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary and uses it accurately and appropriately.)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.5 (There are few grammar errors, and the overall grammar is generally accurate. However, there may be some overly complex sentences or minor inaccuracies that slightly affect clarity.)
- Presentation of Ideas: 9 (The candidate presents a clear argument, supports it with relevant evidence, and critically evaluates opposing viewpoints.)

Total Score: 35.5 / 40

Band Score (IELTS): 8.75

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