IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Write an essay on the following Is it important schools to teach about mental health and resilience?
IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1713063770
Task: Write an essay on the following topic:"Is it important for schools to teach about mental health and resilience?"
Model Answer:
In today's rapidly changing world, the role of education has expanded beyond merely providing knowledge and skills. It now encompasses a more holistic approach to nurturing students' physical, emotional, and social well-being. One such critical aspect that should be given due attention in schools is mental health and resilience.
On one hand, it can be argued that teaching about mental health and resilience is not a responsibility of the school system. The rationale behind this viewpoint is that parents, families, and communities play a more significant role in shaping children's attitudes and emotional well-being. Moreover, some critics believe that schools should focus on delivering academic curriculum rather than delving into personal and emotional issues.
On the other hand, proponents of mental health education in schools argue that it is essential to equip students with the necessary knowledge, skills, and coping mechanisms to deal with the demands of contemporary life. The 21st century has witnessed an unprecedented rise in various mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, and stress, among young people. This escalation can be attributed to numerous factors, including increased academic pressure, peer pressure, and exposure to digital media. Consequently, it becomes imperative for schools to introduce mental health education and resilience-building programs to help students navigate these challenges.
Furthermore, early intervention in mental health issues is crucial. By educating students about mental health from a young age, they can develop a strong foundation of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and stress management techniques. This proactive approach not only helps students manage their mental health effectively but also fosters resilience – the ability to bounce back from adversity.
Resilience is an essential life skill that schools should impart to students. In a world filled with uncertainties and challenges, equipping young individuals with the necessary tools to adapt and thrive in such circumstances is invaluable. Resilience education can be integrated into various school activities, such as team-building exercises, problem-solving tasks, and even sports. By cultivating resilience in students, they become more capable of overcoming obstacles and maintaining a positive outlook on life.
In conclusion, it is indeed important for schools to teach about mental health and resilience. While it is true that parents, families, and communities have a vital role in shaping children's emotional well-being, schools should not be excluded from this responsibility. By incorporating mental health education and resilience programs into the school curriculum, students can develop essential life skills to navigate the complexities of modern life successfully. This proactive approach will not only benefit individuals but also contribute to a more mentally healthy and robust society as a whole.
Overall
Score:
Band 8.5
Task Response: The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument before concluding that teaching mental health and resilience in schools is essential. It provides clear reasons and examples, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-structured and flows logically from one point to another. The use of connecting words and phrases enhances coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: The essay employs a wide range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more complex language structures. However, some less common terms may require clarification for non-native speakers.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: The grammar in the essay is mostly accurate with only minor errors that do not impact overall understanding. Some sentences could be rephrased to improve clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Presentation of Ideas: The ideas are presented clearly and concisely, making it easy for readers to follow the argument. However, some sentences may require revision to ensure a smooth flow of information.
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