IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is cultural assimilation necessary social cohesion?

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712949558

Topic: "Is cultural assimilation necessary for social cohesion?"


Model Answer:

Cultural assimilation has been a contentious issue in many societies around the world. The question of whether it is essential for social cohesion is one that needs to be examined carefully. On one hand, cultural assimilation can lead to a unified society where people from different backgrounds can live and work together harmoniously. On the other hand, this process might result in the loss of cultural diversity and the erosion of unique identities.

To begin with, cultural assimilation can contribute significantly to social cohesion. When individuals from diverse cultures are exposed to each other's customs, traditions, and values, they gain a better understanding and appreciation for one another. This increased tolerance and acceptance can help reduce prejudice, racism, and discrimination, thus fostering a more inclusive society. For example, in countries like the United States and Australia, cultural assimilation has played a significant role in creating a multicultural nation where people from various backgrounds live and work together.

However, cultural assimilation can also lead to the loss of cultural diversity and unique identities. The process of assimilation often requires individuals to abandon their own culture and traditions in favor of the dominant culture's practices. This can result in a homogenized society where distinct cultures and traditions are lost over time. Moreover, the forced assimilation of indigenous peoples around the world has historically led to the marginalization and exploitation of these communities, which is not conducive to social cohesion.

In conclusion, cultural assimilation can indeed contribute to social cohesion by promoting understanding, tolerance, and acceptance among diverse groups. However, it is equally important to recognize and respect the unique identities and traditions of different cultures. A balanced approach that promotes both cultural integration and preservation would be most beneficial for achieving social cohesion in a multicultural society.

In terms of IELTS scoring standards:

- Task Response: 9 (The candidate has fully addressed the topic by presenting a well-structured and focused argument)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 9 (The essay is logically organized, with smooth transitions between ideas)
- Lexical Resource: 8.5 (The candidate demonstrates an extensive vocabulary and uses it accurately)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.5 (The candidate's grammar and syntax are mostly accurate, with only minor errors)
- Presentation of Ideas: 9 (The candidate presents their ideas clearly and effectively, using appropriate examples)

Overall Score: Band 8.75

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