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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712368642

Topic: "Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?"

Model Answer:
In recent years, there has been a growing awareness and efforts made by various societies around the world to include and accept marginalized groups. This essay will examine the factors contributing to this shift in attitude and discuss whether or not it is leading to increased inclusivity.

On one hand, significant advancements have been made in the realm of human rights and legal protections for marginalized communities. For instance, many countries have implemented anti-discrimination laws, which help protect these groups from unfair treatment based on factors such as race, gender, and sexual orientation. Additionally, social media has played a crucial role in raising awareness about the struggles faced by marginalized groups, thus leading to greater empathy and understanding among the general public.

However, there are still many challenges that need to be overcome for true inclusivity to be achieved. For example, prejudiced attitudes and stereotypes continue to persist, which can hinder the progress of integration and acceptance. Moreover, in some parts of the world, marginalized groups continue to face significant discrimination and even violence.

In conclusion, although there have been notable strides made towards greater inclusivity for marginalized groups, the journey is far from over. Societies must continue to work on dismantling systemic barriers and challenging deep-rooted prejudices in order to create a truly inclusive world.

Task Response: The candidate has provided a well-structured response to the question, outlining both the positive aspects of increased inclusion as well as the challenges that remain. They have also demonstrated their understanding of the topic by discussing factors such as legal protections and the role of social media in promoting inclusivity.

Coherence and Cohesion: The candidate's response is coherent and logically structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The paragraphs flow smoothly from one point to another, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

Lexical Resource: The candidate has used a diverse range of vocabulary throughout their answer, demonstrating a good command of English. They have also provided appropriate definitions for terms such as "anti-discrimination laws," which helps to clarify their points and make their response more accessible to readers.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy: The candidate's grammar is generally accurate, with only a few minor errors that do not impact the overall understanding of the text. They have used a variety of sentence structures and complex language, demonstrating a strong control over English grammar.

Overall, the candidate has demonstrated a comprehensive understanding of the topic and effectively addressed the question in their response. Taking into account the task response, coherence and cohesion, lexical resource, and grammatical range and accuracy, an appropriate band score for this essay would be Band 8.

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