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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - In recent years, there has been an increasing demand students to learn about personal finance and budgeting. Some people argue that this knowledge is essential individuals to lead a financially stable life, while others believe it should not be a priority in the education system. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712311902

Task 2:"In recent years, there has been an increasing demand for students to learn about personal finance and budgeting. Some people argue that this knowledge is essential for individuals to lead a financially stable life, while others believe it should not be a priority in the education system. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion."

Model Answer:

In recent years, there has been an increasing demand for students to learn about personal finance and budgeting. This topic is often debated among educators, as some argue that this knowledge is essential for individuals to lead a financially stable life, while others believe it should not be a priority in the education system. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and give my own opinion on whether students should learn about personal finance and budgeting.

On one hand, learning about personal finance and budgeting is indeed important for individuals to lead a financially stable life. Financial literacy is essential in today's world, as it enables people to make informed decisions regarding their spending habits, savings, investments, and debt management. With the rise of consumerism, students must be equipped with the knowledge and skills to manage their finances effectively. Furthermore, financial education can help individuals avoid falling into the trap of excessive debts, which may lead to long-lasting financial hardship.

On the other hand, some people argue that personal finance and budgeting should not be a priority in the education system. The main reason behind this argument is that schools already have a broad curriculum that covers various subjects like mathematics, science, literature, and social sciences. Introducing personal finance as a separate subject may lead to the neglect of other equally important topics. Additionally, students from low-income families might not receive the necessary support or guidance to apply the knowledge they gain from such lessons, making it futile.

In my opinion, while it is crucial for students to learn about personal finance and budgeting, it should be integrated into the existing curriculum rather than being treated as a standalone subject. By incorporating financial literacy into mathematics, social sciences, or even life skills courses, educators can ensure that students receive a comprehensive education that prepares them for the challenges of the modern world without overloading them with additional subjects.

In conclusion, it is important for students to learn about personal finance and budgeting; however, this knowledge should be integrated into the existing curriculum rather than being introduced as an additional subject. By doing so, schools can provide students with a well-rounded education that prepares them for financial stability in the future while not compromising on other essential subjects.

Score:

Overall, the model answer is structured well and addresses both sides of the argument effectively. The essay presents a clear position on the matter, which aligns with the IELTS scoring standards:

- Task Response: 9 (The essay addresses all parts of the task prompt.)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 9 (The essay is well organized, with logical progression from one point to another, and appropriate cohesive devices are used throughout the essay.)
- Lexical Resource: 8.5 (The essay uses a diverse range of vocabulary, including some more advanced terms relevant to the topic. However, a few instances of synonyms or paraphrasing could enhance lexical resource further.)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.5 (The essay is largely free from grammatical errors, with only a few minor mistakes that do not impact overall comprehension.)
- Presentation of Ideas: 9 (The essay presents its ideas in a clear and concise manner, effectively supporting each point with relevant examples or explanations.)

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