IELTS.WORK

IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - The importance of social cohesion in a multicultural society

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712263659

Topic: The importance of social cohesion in a multicultural society

Question: Some people believe that social cohesion is essential for the successful integration of different cultures within a single society, while others argue that individual freedom should take precedence over social coherence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Model Answer:

In today's increasingly globalized world, societies are becoming more diverse and multicultural than ever before. This raises the question of whether social cohesion is necessary for the successful integration of different cultures within a single society or if individual freedom should take precedence over social coherence. In this essay, I will discuss both these views and provide my own perspective on the matter.

On one hand, proponents of social cohesion argue that a strong sense of unity among people from diverse backgrounds is essential for a harmonious and stable multicultural society. They contend that when individuals from different cultural backgrounds interact with each other regularly, they are more likely to develop mutual respect, understanding, and tolerance. This fosters an environment where everyone feels included, valued, and respected, thereby promoting social harmony. Moreover, proponents of social cohesion assert that it is crucial for the successful integration of immigrants into a new society. They emphasize the importance of language skills, cultural knowledge, and shared values in facilitating the process of assimilation, which ultimately leads to a stronger and more unified community.

Conversely, some people argue that individual freedom should be prioritized over social cohesion. They believe that every person has the right to express their culture, beliefs, and values without being pressured to conform to societal norms. These critics of social cohesion argue that imposing a unified identity on diverse groups can lead to suppression of individuality and loss of cultural heritage. They also assert that promoting individual freedom allows for greater creativity, innovation, and personal growth, which are essential components of a vibrant and dynamic society.

In my opinion, it is important to strike a balance between social cohesion and individual freedom in a multicultural society. While it is true that a strong sense of unity among people from different cultures can promote harmony, respecting and valuing the unique perspectives and traditions of each group also enriches the overall community. Moreover, fostering open communication and dialogue between diverse groups can help bridge cultural gaps and create an environment where everyone feels included and respected. At the same time, it is equally important to uphold individual freedom as it encourages personal growth and innovation. Thus, a multicultural society should strive to achieve both social cohesion and individual freedom in order to create a harmonious, vibrant, and dynamic community that benefits everyone.

Overall, while there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate, I believe that striking a balance between social cohesion and individual freedom is essential for a successful multicultural society. By promoting mutual understanding, respect, and tolerance among different cultural groups, as well as upholding individual freedom, we can create a diverse and harmonious community where everyone feels valued, respected, and included.

Score (out of 9):
- Task Response: 9 (The essay provides an in-depth analysis of the topic, including both arguments and a personal opinion.)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 9 (The essay is well-structured and logically organized with clear connections between ideas.)
- Lexical Resource: 9 (The essay demonstrates an extensive vocabulary range and accurate grammar usage throughout.)
- Precision: 9 (The essay presents a nuanced understanding of the topic, addressing both sides of the argument.)

Total Score: 36/40 (Band Score: 8.5)

Source: https://www.ielts.work/?id=1712263659&page=ielts-writing-practice

For more: https://www.ielts.work/?page=ielts-writing-practice