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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712257923

Task 2 Topic: "Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?"

Model Answer:

Over the past few decades, there has been a significant increase in awareness and recognition of marginalized groups' rights and needs within society. This can be attributed to various factors, including advancements in technology, education, and social media platforms that have facilitated global communication and collaboration. Additionally, numerous governments and non-governmental organizations (NGOs) have implemented policies and programs aimed at promoting inclusivity and reducing discrimination against marginalized groups.

However, it is important to note that despite these efforts, there are still many challenges that need to be addressed in order for society to become truly inclusive. For instance, issues such as racial and gender discrimination, economic disparities, and social stigmatization continue to persist, particularly among marginalized communities. Moreover, there are instances where traditional values and beliefs clash with the principles of diversity and equality, leading to resistance against the inclusion of these groups in certain societies.

In conclusion, while society has made significant strides in becoming more inclusive of marginalized groups, it is essential for continuous efforts to be made at all levels – from government policies to individual actions – to address the remaining challenges and promote a truly diverse and equitable society.

Overall Score: Band 7.5

Task Achievement (Content and Ideas): Band 8.0 - The model answer provides a comprehensive overview of the topic, discussing the factors contributing to increased inclusivity in society, as well as the challenges that still need to be addressed. It also offers potential solutions for promoting further inclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion (Logical Flow and Development): Band 7.0 - The model answer is generally well-structured and flows logically from one point to another. However, there are some minor inconsistencies in the flow that could be improved with more precise transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource (Vocabulary and Grammar): Band 8.0 - The model answer demonstrates a high level of lexical resource, utilizing a range of complex vocabulary and grammar structures to convey the topic's ideas effectively. Some synonyms or varied sentence structures could be included to enhance the variety of language even further.

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