IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is cultural assimilation necessary social cohesion?

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712206484

Task 2: Writing TopicTitle: "Is cultural assimilation necessary for social cohesion?"


Model Answer

In today's rapidly globalizing world, the importance of cultural assimilation in ensuring social cohesion is a subject of great debate. Some argue that assimilating into the dominant culture is essential to maintain harmony and unity within diverse societies. On the other hand, others assert that cultural diversity should be preserved and celebrated rather than diluted through assimilation. This essay will analyze the pros and cons of cultural assimilation in relation to social cohesion and present a balanced view on this contentious issue.

Firstly, it is crucial to understand the concept of cultural assimilation. It refers to the process by which people from different cultural backgrounds adopt the customs, traditions, and values of the dominant culture in order to create a unified society. Advocates of cultural assimilation argue that it plays a vital role in fostering social cohesion. They contend that when individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds adopt the norms and values of the majority, they can better understand and empathize with one another, thereby reducing misunderstandings and prejudices. For example, immigrants who integrate into the dominant culture by learning its language, customs, and traditions are likely to face fewer discrimination issues compared to those who remain resistant to assimilation.

However, critics of cultural assimilation assert that it can lead to a loss of valuable cultural heritage and identity. They contend that diversity in cultures should be celebrated rather than eroded through assimilation. A multicultural society, where individuals from different backgrounds maintain their unique customs and traditions while respecting and appreciating the cultures of others, can create a more vibrant and harmonious community. This type of society fosters mutual understanding and tolerance without sacrificing cultural identity.

In conclusion, while cultural assimilation may contribute to social cohesion in some cases, it is not a necessary requirement for creating harmony in diverse societies. Instead, a balance between maintaining cultural diversity and promoting respect and understanding among different cultures can lead to a more inclusive and harmonious society. Therefore, efforts should be directed towards cultivating an environment where individuals from various cultural backgrounds can coexist peacefully while still retaining their unique identities.

Scoring Criteria

- Task Response: The model answer provides a comprehensive analysis of the pros and cons of cultural assimilation in relation to social cohesion, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic (Band 9).
- Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively presenting the argument (Band 8.5).
- Lexical Resource: The language used in the model answer is sophisticated and varied, showcasing an extensive vocabulary and grammatical accuracy (Band 9).
- Pronunciation and Fluency: The fluency of the model answer is excellent, with appropriate pacing and emphasis, ensuring easy comprehension for the reader (Band 9).

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