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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Should schools have stricter discipline policies?

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1711404030

Topic: Should schools have stricter discipline policies?

Model Answer:
In today's rapidly changing society, the role of education has become increasingly important. One of the primary goals of a school is to provide an environment where students can learn and develop essential life skills. However, with the rise in cases of school violence, bullying, and disruptions in the classroom, many people argue that schools should implement stricter discipline policies. While it is essential for educators to maintain order and safety within the learning environment, it is crucial to consider the potential consequences of implementing overly strict disciplinary measures.

On one hand, having stricter discipline policies can improve the overall atmosphere in schools by minimizing disruptive behavior and creating a conducive learning environment. When students understand that there are clear consequences for their actions, they are more likely to behave responsibly and respect the rights of others. This can lead to an increased focus on learning and higher academic achievement. For instance, in schools with strict discipline policies, teachers may find it easier to manage their classrooms, leading to a more productive teaching environment.

On the other hand, overly strict disciplinary measures can have unintended negative consequences. Students who are subjected to harsh punishments may develop resentment towards the school and its staff, leading to decreased motivation and engagement in learning activities. Additionally, stricter discipline policies may disproportionately affect students from disadvantaged backgrounds, exacerbating existing social inequalities within the education system. In some cases, overly strict rules can even contribute to an increase in disciplinary problems, as students may feel alienated or stigmatized for minor infractions.

In conclusion, while it is essential to maintain a safe and respectful learning environment, implementing stricter discipline policies must be approached with caution. Schools should strike a balance between upholding order and fostering a supportive atmosphere where students can grow and learn. By focusing on promoting positive behavior through incentives and rewards rather than solely relying on punitive measures, schools can create an environment conducive to learning while respecting the diverse needs and backgrounds of their students.

Task Achievement: 9 - The candidate has fully addressed all aspects of the question, demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and provided well-structured and coherent responses throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5 - The essay is largely well-organized and logically structured. However, there are minor issues with cohesion as some sentences may seem disconnected from the main idea.
Lexical Resource: 9 - The candidate demonstrates an extensive vocabulary range and uses it accurately to convey meaning clearly and precisely. There are minimal errors in word choice and usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.5 - The essay is mostly free of grammatical errors, but there are a few minor issues with sentence structure and punctuation that slightly affect the clarity of some statements. Overall, the grammar is generally accurate and effective in conveying meaning.
Presentation of ideas: 9 - The candidate presents their ideas effectively using a clear and logical argumentative structure, supported by relevant examples. The essay demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and offers well-reasoned perspectives on the issue at hand.

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