IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - In an essay, discuss whether cultural assimilation is necessary social cohesion, and provide relevant examples to support your arguments.
IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1710763570
Task: In an essay, discuss whether cultural assimilation is necessary for social cohesion, and provide relevant examples to support your arguments.
Model Answer:
Cultural assimilation has been a topic of debate among scholars and policymakers due to its potential impact on social cohesion. Some argue that it fosters unity and understanding between diverse communities, while others believe that preserving cultural diversity is essential for maintaining a harmonious society. In this essay, I will discuss the importance of cultural assimilation in promoting social cohesion by examining both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples.
On one hand, proponents of cultural assimilation argue that it helps to create a shared identity among diverse groups. When individuals from different backgrounds adopt a common set of values, norms, and practices, they can better understand each other's perspectives and work together towards a common goal. This unity is particularly important in multicultural societies where tensions between different ethnic or religious groups may arise. For instance, the successful integration of immigrants into Canadian society has been attributed to the government's policy of promoting cultural assimilation through language education and social programs. As a result, Canada has been able to maintain a high level of social cohesion despite its diverse population.
On the other hand, critics of cultural assimilation argue that it can lead to the marginalization and loss of indigenous cultures. By imposing a dominant culture on minority groups, assimilation may inadvertently create social divisions and perpetuate power imbalances. This can be seen in the United States, where Native American tribes have faced centuries of forced assimilation through policies such as the Indian Boarding Schools. As a result, many Native American cultures have been weakened, and their traditions are at risk of being lost forever. In these cases, it is clear that cultural assimilation has not fostered social cohesion but rather exacerbated existing divisions.
Moreover, some experts argue that social cohesion can be achieved without necessarily promoting cultural assimilation. Instead, multiculturalism – which encourages the preservation of diverse cultures and languages – can create a more harmonious society. For example, Switzerland is known for its successful integration of four national languages (German, French, Italian, and Romansh) and various religious practices without enforcing cultural assimilation. This approach has contributed to a strong sense of national identity while preserving the unique characteristics of each community.
In conclusion, whether or not cultural assimilation is necessary for social cohesion depends on the specific context and goals of the society in question. While some argue that it fosters unity and understanding among diverse communities, others assert that preserving cultural diversity is essential for maintaining a harmonious society. Ultimately, a balance between promoting shared values and respecting individual cultures is key to achieving social cohesion in a multicultural world.
Scoring:
Content (Task Response):
9 - The essay effectively discusses the importance of cultural assimilation in promoting social cohesion by examining both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples. It presents a clear position on the topic and supports its arguments with well-structured paragraphs.
Coherence & Coherence:
8 - The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. However, there are some minor inconsistencies in the argumentation that could be improved for greater clarity.
Grammar & Vocabulary:
9 - The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy and a wide range of vocabulary. The language is appropriately complex, which contributes to a sophisticated discussion of the topic.
Overall
Score:
8.7 (
Band 7)
Source:
https://www.ielts.work/?id=1710763570&page=ielts-writing-practice

For more:
https://www.ielts.work/?page=ielts-writing-practice
